The human called orphan!!

Have we ever wondered how it feels like to be alone in this world? For a moment just close your eyes and imagine that you have lost all your family and friends, doesn’t it send shivers down your spine?  We call this state of isolation as being orphaned. There is a difference in being orphaned since the time you are born and/or orphaned when you have a family but you are somehow separated from them due to certain situations. It could be that your family met with an accident and you are the lone survivor or you are separated in a stampede or you may be separated due to some kind of natural calamity. The situations of being orphaned could be many. So as mentioned before the difference in being orphaned at an early stage is you are already aware you have no one but when you are orphaned at a later stage you tend to know both sides of the coin and that may add to the dilemma.

If you ever had the chances of visiting an orphanage one important aspect we can notice is the twinkle in their eyes. They are delighted to meet us because they have already stored in their system that strangers bring lot of gifts and goodies. They have to behave their best in order to be the favorite of anyone they meet, whereas some may be way too shy as they are too self conscious and then you have the most notorious of the ones. A lot of them have a different perspective towards life, they are the ones who celebrate life to the fullest rather than us who lead a robotic life.

Recently I have had the privilege of being part of an amazing evening where we celebrated a dear friend’s birthday in an orphanage for children infected with HIV positive. As we entered the kids dashed among them to give us a hug without even thinking for a second that we are strangers. I was taken aback for a moment with this act of affection. It felt as if after a long and hard days work when you get back home and your kids are waiting for a hug. My friend visits them every weekend to spend some quality time and she being an ardent humanitarian wishes to devote her time to such activities. All the children know her pretty well now that she is frequent visitor. So the first thing I experienced after being hugged by the kids is that someone tapped me and demanded to be picked up. At that time I was looking back for my boyfriend as I wanted to see his expression knowing he would be happy to come here. She was a 6 year old girl and asked me if I knew what her name was. I asked her for a clue and she willingly answered saying that her name starts with “S”, later found that her name was Shabnam. On the other side her brother who was only 4 years old clung to my boyfriend the entire evening refusing to let him go. He wanted to be left alone near the window so that he could look at vehicles and when I tried to interfere his solitude, my cheeks were pulled.     

While being there I was keenly interested in their lives so I thought of asking few questions to these children. I found my interviewee in the form of Shilpa who lives there along with her brother. I asked her if she had her medicines to which she answered she was negative and her brother was positive. I was shocked to hear the answer thinking what does she know about being positive and negative. As per my friend her parents passed away due to AIDS and the only person left in this world was their grandmother. They were left at a hospital and Desire society took them under their wings. She wanted me to visit often and be in touch. The kids are not aware of their illness until they grow up to certain age where they can understand the symptoms, causes and consequences of it. They are then counseled so that it does not bring down their mental balance and they do not go in to depression thinking that there awaits death any moment. Their life span is maximum 20-25 years and I wonder how it is explained to them.  What I liked most about them is they listen to you intently grasping each things you say, storing it in their little minds so that they can narrate it to others. I was surprised at the level of their imagination and interpretation of different things. Like for instance one kid came up to my friend and asked her for a chocolate, now these children cannot have more sweets as it may affect them badly. So in order to avoid that kid from having more chocolates, she explained that her teeth may become big and fall off as her mouth would not hold such weight. Kudos to my friend for scaring away that child but the kid asked will her teeth become like a dinosaur? My friend had no clue how does a dinosaurs teeth look like because she had never met one!         

These kids are full of life, they bring a feeling of happiness within us, forgetting all our worries for some time. They are unaware of what will happen to them in a few years, what touched my heart is will they be able to dream their future? If we reflect life we can learn that our constant worries about future, success, money, making it big in life is nothing but dust when you compare it with their life. We should thank the Almighty for all the wonderful things he has showered us with. Unlike those underprivileged children, we do have a dream within us and we can fulfill it if we have a will. Next time you waste your food think for a moment there are hundreds in this world who go without eating. Mans basic needs will and always remain food, clothing and shelter. All that comes after that is nothing but luxury. Most importantly we should learn the “art of giving” which in turn will teach us the “art of living”!

My clumsy dreams and its Google interpretations!

How I wish to dream all day and stay away from the real world so that I can have all the adventures and fun that I would love to. Being an avid reader of novels which contain truck loads of fantasies, magic and out of the world experiences, I have always anticipated on such a life. Dreams are the best possible way to live your fantasies. I have always wondered if dreams really have a meaning. Do they foretell our future or are they just glimpses of past that we keep visiting? Some say it is a reflection of what you have seen or experienced lately, others might just conclude it as utter nonsense. We have often heard about déjà-vu moments, a feeling we might have experienced prior but conveniently forgot about the same, it could be a dream that we had a few days back.

So to speak last night I was present in 4 places at the same time. One moment I am having a haircut where my friend is attending to my hair. I am requesting her to cut my hair in such a way that in the end it should look like I am wearing a crown. She tries to make me understand that short hair would not suit me but I won’t agree. The scene changes I am still sitting in the chair which my friend had pulled up for me to sit while getting the hair cut but the place is different. I am in one of my aunt’s place whom I hate with all the hatred that exists in the world, she is asking me to hurry up while she is carrying a big basket of flowers. She wants me to make a flower rangoli before the commencement of some pooja at her place. All I can see is different kinds of flowers which I have never seen before different in colors, shapes and fragrances. For a moment I thought I was in the middle of a flower market in Dadar. I somehow land up in a swimming pool where I met a handsome guy who tries to teach me how to swim. Suddenly I remember that my friend told me to close the back door which is adjacent to the swimming pool because there is a serial killer out there and he can use the back door to barge in. I almost reach the door and pull it close when someone tries to open it, I forcefully manage to shut the door and run towards the swimming pool. Mr. Hot who tried teaching me swimming tells me and a girl who was also present there to hide ourselves inside the water. But I couldn’t understand why we didn’t use our brains that anyone standing outside the pool can see what is below the crystal clear water. The serial killer moves closer to the pool, notices us and he lets out a sharp threatening laugh, I hold my breath and urine at the same time. The last thing I want is to pass out and embarrass myself by attending natures call when inside the swimming pool. We stare at him immersed in water with utter disbelief; he has got a machine gun!! Mr. Hot lands himself on the killer and drags him in the water and in the process I happen to snatch away the gun from him. I pour the entire rounds of bullets in his body leaving the water to turn bloody. After sometime there is no sign of anyone except me standing in darkness and feeling like a winner who has accomplished the task, the real reason I took birth was to kill the person who was on the loose killing random and innocent people just to satisfy his psychotic ego.

I happened to google the interpretations of my dreams and this is what it had to tell me:

Getting a haircut:  You get rid of all the negativities if you happen to dream about cutting your hair. I can refer to this dream as I would be starting my new job again after a year long stint of entrepreneurship. I would be getting rid of the ghosts of my wretched luck!  

Flowers: An auspicious beginning of something new although I did not look up for the interpretation of my aunt whom I dislike! This again relates to a new beginning in my life.

Swimming pool: It symbolizes relaxation, calmness, luxury and ease. It alternatively means that I should understand my own feelings and make correct decisions. I wonder if someone is sponsoring me a voucher for a spa massage, -wink-.

Killing someone: If one dreams about killing someone then probably you are suppressing a certain characteristic of yourself which you may not be be very proud of.

The circle of dreams went on until the wee hours of morning twisting and turning on its own. I had no power to stop them, which made me realize that our life is a dream of its own kind. We cannot predict our own future, life takes its own course of direction, flowing the way it wants to. We have no power over our own life; all we can do is take certain measures so that unpleasant situations do not arise. That is why we often refer to things like our dream house or the prince charming of our dreams. What if we are the characters of someone else’s dream?

Being unpredictable..!!

As the title reads "Being Unpredictable", that is how i really am. I have always  surprised myself at every step, every moment of my life.

Always being confused on what i actually want and in the end thinking, "Is that what i really wished to happen?!". Jumping on the wrong opportunities, saying things at the wrong time and then regretting, " I shouldn't have said that or did that..!!". I may have options to choose from but i am sure i would choose the wrong one. That is why i always need a second opinion, specially two of my very closest friends with whom i can share anything and everything. Because they actually know me better than i know myself. They show me the right way which can lead to my destination. Be it which dress to wear or the kind of guys i ought to be dating. You name your problems and they are ready with the solutions. 

Unpredictability is so blended in my nature that it is hard to let go. It seems i am born with it. I cannot name it a disability but then sometimes i do feel that i am handicapped because of it. Born an Aquarian I have read that they are unpredictable in nature but is to so true that you cannot make your life changing decisions and depend on others for opinions always!!

For eg: I was never sure of my career. After getting done with my HSC, i had to study and work at the same time. There is this friend of mine whose mum came up with a correspondence course of BBA from a recognized university. She told me that it will help me as I would be working at the same time and there wont be any time to attend lectures. Secondly my friend also would be taking up the course so there will be company. I was like..."oh yeah gal...this is it!!...I am gonna do a Bachelors in Business Administration .woaahh".The counselor told us that we can complete the course in a period of 7 years. In case we are not able to attempt the examinations regularly. I laughed at her saying we wont take that long. But that was one of my biggest goof ups.

2 years down the line and i still didn't complete my first year, my friend who along  with me took up the course got married and she left it without completing!!. I was not sure whether i will ever complete my grads. It took me 3 years to regain confidence and apply for a Bachelors in Arts with Mumbai University. All because of my colleague turned friend who said that i am wasting my years in deciding. 

Maybe being unpredictable and not able to decide for your own self are completely two different things. But both aptly describe my character, the way i am. But sometimes when you end up doing silly things by being unpredictable, you can have a good laugh later.

       

Gone are the days...!!!

Atlast I am done with all the rat issue, ceiling leakage during monsoons and cracked doors....hmm..finally i shifted to a new place although not my own but a rented apartment..I fell in love with the pad when i first went to see it and finalised it then and there...After the dream of me buying my own house was broken into pieces in front of my own eyes, I gave up on the idea of even renting a bigger apartment. But then things again went for a toss and after many thoughts I finally decided to move out.

But things were not achieved in a smooth way, I had to keep my patience under control as many hurdles came along the way. Then things fell in place and we got shifted FINALLY!!!...

But looking back at my days which i left behind, I am gonna miss them terribly. We lived in a very small room, a family of 5 people which went down to 4 after dad left us. Those days have shown me many ups and downs. I have interacted with people from the lowest strata of society, have eaten their simple mouth watering Maharashtrian dishes. And I must say you will lick your fingers till you actually eat them mistakingly coz the food is so tasty that it tastes even better than the 5 Star Hotels. We also had to survive on those food when we had nothing but what they gave us. 

Hmm...Those were the days, when I actually yearned to own a television set. We used to go and sit at our neighbors place even when they were having their dinner, lunch or there were visitors at their house. We kept our mom as watch keeper as we were not allowed to step foot outside our house. There were rules set for us by our dad which we were supposed to follow, failing which we would either be thrashed by the wooden scale or anything that excelled as a good object to be hit. Many a times I would be locked out of the house along with my sister for going next door to watch a movie... How I wished back then to breakaway from the chain of rules which bound us like tendrils of a plant.

We came to this place 8 years ago when i was in Std 8th and we were taken aback from the ambiance to which we were thrown. It was like a dark cloud came into our lives as we never imagined we would be living in such a small dingy place with hardly any place to sleep for all of us. We were earlier living in a bigger house but after my father's downfall things went in a disorderly fashion. Eventually we accepted what life gave us and tried settling in the new place. How 8 years flew past us I never came to know, but those days will remain etched in my memory forever. 

I have always felt a hand behind me or rather felt someone looking down at me from above, paving way for new episodes in my life. Someone is busy knitting threads of my life as I never learned the art of stitching...:D...I know that someday I will too own a bigger house than the one I am currently occupying. This is second in my list, the first was to own a television set which I actually did.

What I have learned so far is that : First life teaches you to bend and then how to fly high. Hope the fuel in you never goes off.  

Interview.....

This is an excerpt from an interview taken by my friend and answered by me....Before she asked me the following questions i was informed that it was a research she was conducting...God alone knows why on earth  was she behind Lizzards....!!


Please guys have a sneak peek...;)


"Hi Anu,  I am researching on the common household chipkali. Would like to know ....  
 1. What have you heard of them from parents/grandparents? Are they lucky or unlucky?    Ans: Yes I have heard about this species which belong to the reptile category by my grandparents. They are considered lucky/unlucky depending upon the body part they fall. i. e. if they fall on the scalp you will be dead in some days. (Don’t laugh, Its not a joke, people used to believe this myth) 


2. How do you react when you spot one in your house? Your memories ..if any.   
Ans: I run with a broom in my hand and try to shoo it away, which often results in the lizard falling on the ground ultimately it is I who scream and run away. 


3. How do you keep them away from your space?  
 Ans: By cleaning the ceiling from all corners (cuz that is whr spiders make their cob-webs) every Sunday after an emotional blackmail and threatening from mum that no breakfast will be served. 


4. Is the a temple in Mumbai dedicated to the lizard?  
Ans: Ohh…I have never heard about this. But I did hear something about a girl turning into a chipkali after she throwed a holy book (name of the holy book withheld due to respect towards the religion). 


5. Any leads vis a vis people who could talk about or meet ? 
Ans: Regarding this you may conduct a street survey, will be at the receiving end…!  


THE END

A Night Stay with "Tiny Dots...errr...Tots..!!"

It was unplanned all thanks to the never ending traffic jam at Andheri and the block in Western Railways due to rains!!...I happened to stay back at my friends place who is blessed with such beautiful twins..."A story teller" and "A beauty queen in the making"...


I had been before to her place but this time I had an amazing time with the kids..looking at them I wish to go back to the days I was a kiddo...The naughtiest among my siblings and the receiver of ultimatums which included thrashings at the same time. Alright it all began with the little girl's planning on where will I be sleeping...She gave me an idea of alignment I had to follow which I did...!!


From the time I stepped into the house never was I left on my own...I was kept busy by adopting various roles like sometimes I had to be the photographer or i was being photographed (it resulted into blurry images though)...But the blurry pictures was all my mistake, I was blamed by the little photographer for moving my head (it wasn't her fault at all as her hand shaked while clicking snaps)..or else she blamed that the background moved while clicking...I also had to listen to her songs from the latest flick "Dum Maro Dum"...a song with Spanish wordings....


After the photography session the little master joined us and he told that we were in a park and were surrounded by Crocodiles and Tigers...We also had to take Umbrellas to poke their stomachs so that they don't scare us...that is what adults call "Self -Defence"...
Hmmm.....and as we were travelling in our car I am ordered by the driver to take a reverse and horn at the nearby vehicles even tough I am sitting at the back seat..!!!Whoaaa...I was wondering were we travelling backwards...But I kept my mouth shut coz anything can happen it's their world...so my rules don't apply!!....


Normally it is the adults who are supposed to be telling bed-time stories to their kids..but here its in reverse order...I was made to hear ghost stories by the "Story Teller" in which the ghost had long moustache like my long and silky hair....and as I pretended to get scared I was being consoled by the little boy that he had a big sword and a torch...by seeing these weapons the ghost will flee away to which I breathed a sigh of relief..!!


Last but not the least...next time I visit them I have to carry a small pouch of cosmetics for Mademoiselle...she really is a beauty...Mi Amigo (My friend) I thank you for bringing such admirable and marvelous Tweety Pies in this world...They are such innocent little characters you never feel like parting ways whenever you meet them....I am looking forward to meeting them often...:)

Boredom - The Killer

Boredom kills u from within...I've been experiencing it lately from the last two months....I joined this new firm under the impression of being alone and working peacefully. Little did i know that i will not exist here with loneliness giving me company.

I worked under tremendous pressure in a larger organisation for almost two years with people around me and a boss who kept bullying his employees at every step. So to escape the pressure and insults showered on me, every time I enter his cabin, I took up this job. Initially it was peaceful, I was getting relaxed. It was like a rejuvenating vacation for me. But day by day sitting in the office alone with no other human being to talk to began giving me creeps.

As i'm a person who cannot keep my mouth shut for long, the whole idea of joining here proved me wrong.  I like dancing around, cracking jokes and keeping the atmosphere happy around me. But here if i dance around and talk loudly and crack jokes maybe my boss will think I escaped from an asylum and joined here. So to prove myself stable and a serious character i keep my mouth zipped and stare at the computer screen unblinkingly whenever my boss passes my desk. 

And guess what....all my made up persona impressed him. Shit and now I curse myself everyday for being so overly sincere at work. So the only thing that keeps me going is Mr. Mark Zuckerberg's creation..."THE FACEBOOK"....Yes i'm most obliged to him for this. I can keep myself busy when I dont have any work (which is mostly).

And I get taunts from everywhere saying don't you have any work???..Do you get paid for chatting whole day..so on and so forth...Folks I'm frustrated sitting alone in this goddamn office and this is the only thing dat keeps me alive...Sometimes books come happily with their sweet faces and make me happy...Guys I know i can always count on you when the world turns its back on me...

Wait a minute...am i going senti??..See the effects of being alone....Take my advise do not be alone even if you feel like....Plss...I've been there and just wanna get this over with....